Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack"
"When it comes to defending ourselves against an army of reanimated human corpses, the officials in charge have fallen asleep at the wheel," Murphy said. "Who's in charge of sweep-and-burn missions to clear out infected areas? Who's going to guard the cemeteries at night? If zombies were to arrive in the city tomorrow, we'd all be roaming the earth in search of human brains by Friday.